‘Coffee with mayo and onions’: 1 in 6 helpers use a secret family password to stop scammers
- Detecting Financial Crime
Hans Sjouke Koopal
Sr Press Officer Private Banking, Personal & BB
4 in 10 Dutch people who help others with digital banking are more concerned about the digital safety of the person they support than they were last year. ABN AMRO is introducing new easy-to-read guides to support helpers.
Millions of Dutch people help a family member, partner or acquaintance to do their digital banking. In research commissioned by ‘ABN AMRO Helpt’, 4 in 10 of the more than 1,000 helpers surveyed say online fraud is changing so quickly that it is hard to keep up. One in 3 also say they find it difficult to properly protect the other person against online scams. That protection is essential, as fraudsters use sophisticated combinations of techniques in their scams. To provide practical support against scams, the bank is releasing new versions of its ‘Red Flags for Scams’ guide. In collaboration with Stichting ABC, a foundation for people with poor literacy skills, it has developed several guides: an edition for helpers, and versions in Dutch, English and Arabic written in plain language. ABN AMRO is also introducing a compact flyer that provides key phone numbers and advises people to agree on a ‘family password’.
“Hi mum, I’ve got a new number”
Your phone rings: “Hi mum, it’s me, I’ve got a new number. I’m a bit short of money right now, can you quickly lend me some?” It is a scenario that unfortunately happens every day. To expose this type of scam immediately, ABN AMRO encourages people to use a family password. This is a unique and secret code you agree on in advance with your loved ones. You could opt, for example, for a weird, unforgettable combination such as ‘coffee with mayo and onions’.
If you are ever unsure whether it is really your son or daughter on the phone, simply ask for the family password. If the caller does not know the answer, you will know right away that they are a scammer and you can end the call. Although it is an easy way to protect yourselves against fraud together, only 1 in 6 helpers currently use it.
The key findings from the research at a glance:
Nearly half of the Dutch population help someone else with digital banking, in most cases (85%) a family member or partner.
More than 8 in 10 helpers knew that there had recently been major data breaches in the Netherlands; fewer than half checked whether the person they help was affected.
1 in 6 Dutch people who help someone with digital banking have agreed a family password with the person they help
Half of Dutch people who help someone with digital banking do plan to agree on a family password
Increasing concerns and a growing need for help
"The 200 advisers at ABN AMRO Helpt speak daily with clients who receive help with their banking, and with the people who help them. More and more often, we are hearing that helpers find it difficult to know where to start. This research confirms what we hear in those conversations: concerns are increasing, and there is a strong need for practical guidance,” says Gudy van der Wal-Verbruggen of ABN AMRO Helpt.
On the positive side, in almost 9 out of 10 cases, the helper and the person being helped talked afterwards about a suspicious situation. The next step is to have that conversation before they receive a suspicious message.
A guide for the person helping and the person being helped
The need for accessible information was already clear from the ‘ABC of Scams’ published in 2025, which was downloaded tens of thousands of times. Because scams have now become almost indistinguishable from genuine messages, it is becoming increasingly important to recognise the psychological patterns used, the ‘red flags’. For the millions of Dutch people who have lower language or digital skills, this information has now been made more accessible through two new tools:
The Red Flags in plain language: Explains the five most important signs of a scam in a simple way. The publication is available in Dutch, English and Arabic, and also offers space to note down a unique ‘family password’ together.
The Helper’s guide to digital security: Offers family members, volunteers and carers practical guidance to start a conversation about online risks and to make clear agreements together.
For additional support, a compact flyer has been developed that shares key phone numbers and the five red flags for scams. It is designed to serve as a conversation starter on the topic and to be easily placed next to a phone or computer, ensuring the right help is immediately at hand if in doubt.