Colleague Wies: “That support cut against the idea that I shouldn’t be allowed to exist.”

What do equal opportunities mean to you?

“That everyone has the same opportunities to get the most out of life and their own talents. That unjust or even unlawful opinions of others are no longer accepted.”

Have you ever experienced inequality?

“During my studies, a fellow student didn’t want to do an assignment with me because I was a lesbian. That was harsh, in-your-face discrimination. In the nine years I’ve been working at ABN AMRO, my being a lesbian has never really come up. I’m seen as a professional and a colleague. But my girlfriend and I have been harassed on the street. One time we were walking hand in hand chatting, and suddenly we were spat at from behind and called names. I felt so humiliated. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. One time we were also hit...I don’t give my sexual orientation a second thought, but when I’m confronted with ‘being different’ like that, I become really conscious of it.”

How do you deal with inequality?

“These incidents made me look for ways to hide the fact that I’m a lesbian. By changing the way I look, but also by not walking hand in hand in places where we think that might set someone off. After we were spat at, I felt so small that I ran straight home and washed my hair. At the same time, we got enormous support on the streets. People around us stood up for us. They showed that this was really not acceptable, asked if they could help, said that they had called the police. That support cut against the idea that I shouldn’t be allowed to exist. In situations that do affect me but that don’t blow me completely out of the water, I first try to take a breath and then let it be known politely but firmly that I’m not OK with whatever’s just happened. I always realise that, at times like these, I’m standing up not just for myself, but for all women, and particularly all gay women, whom I really don’t want to let down. I want to represent them as best I can. I do the same when I see someone else not being treated equally—for whatever reason. If we don’t call out exclusion and discrimination when we see it, we’re condoning it with our silence. Calling it out helps in and of itself to create a new norm.”

Why are equal opportunities important?

“‘Women are emotional.’ ‘Lesbians are semi-men.’ When people take prejudices like that to a meeting, you really feel it. That makes you feel small. It means you end up spending your energy on things other than what the meeting’s about. If everyone around the table has the same opportunities, everyone can give their best. I often hear people say that diversity can bring us so much. We talk about it as though it’s something we have to achieve. But it’s already here. It’s about the part that comes after that—about inclusion. I always say: we should also dance with the people we invite to the party, and really connect with each other, and work together. And that calls for commitment from both sides.”

How can we achieve equal opportunities?

“I’d almost say: open up your eyes. Acknowledge what’s going on. If you look around you on the street, you see all kinds of cultures, skin colours, gender identities... Diversity is a fact of life, and we all have to take responsibility for it, and act accordingly. Senior management here at the bank does this very well, I think. They’ve promised to have 35% women in senior management roles, so we’ll keep looking until the best women are found. When I joined the bank, I had a role model on the Executive Board: Caroline Princen. Then I knew: I can do this too. I can be myself and have a career. This topic is so close to my heart. I’d love it for everyone to be able to stop worrying about what makes them ‘different’.”

This interview is part of a series of interviews about equal opportunities, in which we talk to various colleagues about the obstacles that we still need to overcome, both as a bank and as a society.With our comprehensive diversity and inclusion policy, we give special attention to women, the LGBTI+ community, people with occupational disabilities, people from different cultural backgrounds, and senior citizens. For Pride 2022, we asked four employees from the LGBTI+ community five questions about equal opportunities.

Equal opportunities are a key part of our extensive diversity and inclusion policy. If our inclusive way of working appeals to you, take a look at werkenbijabnamro.nl. Who knows? Maybe you’ll soon be one of our new colleagues.